


In Your Atmosphere

by batfamilytrash, prettyboypjm



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Blood, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Major Character Injury, No one dies though, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Violence, also our friend relentlessly bullied us over writing this, and also pidge is the #1 klance stan, and shiro is basically the mom from mean girls, i mean maybe a little bit but, keith probably has like 10 gay panics, klance, or like one (1) panic attack, that's irrelevant, we aren't sadists i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-07-19 19:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7374880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/batfamilytrash/pseuds/batfamilytrash, https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyboypjm/pseuds/prettyboypjm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lance and Keith accidentally kiss, which leads to gay panics, fluff, steamy (but cute) makeout sessions, angst, and Great Life choices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Can't Help Falling In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith accidentally kiss, which leads to gay panics, fluff, steamy (but cute) make out sessions, angst, and Great Life Choices.

In hindsight, it was all Pidge’s fault.

“You’d think it’d be easier to wrangle kittens,” Coran muttered.  Allura sighed in exasperation.  This isn’t exactly what she’d had in mind for this morning.

“Why must you attack me with words?” Lance sighed dramatically, throwing his arm over his eyes.

Keith raised one of his eyebrows.  “You want me to use rocks?” He retorted.

Lance huffed, crossing his arms.  “Yeah, well, two can play at that game.”

Once again, Allura sighed.  She glanced over at Shiro, who was watching the scene unfold in what looked like slight amusement.  She frowned.  What kind of captain stood by and watched in amusement as his cadets fought?  “Can’t you stop this?” She asked, annoyance creeping into her voice as she waved at the cadets.

“Yo Mama so ugly,” Lance declared, “even the trash man wouldn’t pick her up.”

Keith scoffed in indignation, looking like he was about to say something in retort, but Shiro cut them off.  “That’s enough,” He said sternly, then looked back over at Allura.  “I’m assuming you called us all here for training, right?”

Allura nodded.  “Correct,” She said, looking back at the cadets.  “And I need all of you to cooperate.”

“Today,” She continued, “we’re going to work on team-building.  The stronger your bonds are with each other, the stronger they’ll be with your Lions, and the stronger you’ll all be as Voltron.”

She stepped forward, walking down the steps into the arena.  “Firstly, you all must team up.  Pidge, Hunk, you’ll be partners.  And Keith and Lance - ”

“No!” Lance practically shouted in horror.  “I am  _ not _ working with  _ him _ .”

Keith glared at him.  “Like I wanna work with  _ you _ ,” He snapped.

“You will work with each other,” Allura said sharply, “unless, of course, you’re okay with witnessing the total destruction of the universe.”

A brief silence fell over the group.  “Well,” Hunk said finally, “it’s hard to argue with that, guys.”

Keith and Lance grumbled in compliance.  Allura nodded.  “Good.  Now, the objective of this exercise is one partner has to protect the other from the opposing team.  This will be good in the future in case one of you is injured.”

“Lance, you’ll be protecting Keith.  Pidge, you’ll be protecting Hunk,” She said, and held up two coils of rope.  “Here, take this rope and tie your hands behind your back.  We’ll also be changing things up a bit today.  Rather than fighting gladiators, you’ll be fighting each other.”

“Wait - ” Lance started.

“ - what?” Hunk finished.

“We’re fighting each other,” Pidge said pointedly.  “Weren’t you two listening?”

“Hold on,” Lance protested, “why doesn’t Shiro have to do this?”

“I was actually wondering the same thing, Allura,” Shiro interjected.

“You are the most experience out of all of the Paladins,” Allura pointed out, “and I highly doubt you’ll have trouble of bonding with any of the others.”

“She’s not wrong there,” Pidge muttered.

“Begin,” Allura said.

Lance sputtered as Pidge shot their bayard at him.  His shield shot up last minute as Pidge’s projectile slammed into him, making him stumble back - right into Keith.

Keith, imbalanced because his hands were tied behind his back, nearly fell.  “Watch it,” He snapped.  “You’re supposed to be  _ protecting _ me, not taking me out yourself.”

Lance narrowed his eyes.  “At least  _ I _ actually graduated from the Academy,” He shot back.

Keith scoffed, looking up at the ceiling.  “Last I checked, you haven’t actually graduated.  In fact, you ran away.”

“Hey, you still got kicked out,” Lance snapped.  “Not me.”

In midst of their argument, Lance had absentmindedly dropped his shield to his side, now facing Keith.  Keith was about to say something when Pidge’s bayard slammed into Lance’s back.  He was sent flying into the other teen, sending both of them sprawling.  Keith lost his balance, tumbling to the ground, Lance landing right on top of him.

Lance barely had time to process what had happened before his lips collided with Keith’s.


	2. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (insert keith's gay panic here)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on tumblr @galacticladynoir for updates on the fic :)

The kiss sent an electric jolt down Keith’s spine.

His eyes looked as if they were about to burst out of the poor boy’s head.  So many thoughts were swarming in his head.  Why was Lance, of all people in the universe, kissing him?  And why was he kissing back?  Did Lance have feelings for him?  Did  _ Keith _ have feelings for  _ Lance? _  For the first time this morning, Keith was speechless.  For the first time  _ ever _ , he was speechless.  Lance looked equally distressed, but also somewhat pleased with himself to have finally gotten the red paladin to stop arguing him.  It was a look that drove Keith crazy.  But he wasn’t sure what kind of crazy.

The confused pair broke from their kiss, just staring at each other.  It was as if someone had taken an eraser and attacked Keith’s brain with it.  He looked over to Pidge and Hunk - Pidge, who was smiling so big it looked like it hurt, and Hunk, who looked like a kid in a candy shop.  Allura, Coran, and Shiro, however, looked as if they’d witnessed someone setting a poor cat’s tail on fire.  Lance and Keith, who were still laying on top of each other, finally got up and tried to prepare themselves for the bombardment of questions they were about to encounter from the rest of the team.

“What. Was. That?” Allura asked, her voice stern but somewhat gentle.  In fact, she sounded more bewildered than anything.  She walked closer to the paladins, needing an answer.

Lance sputtered, wanting to say something but having no idea what.  Keith, for his part, was redder than a tomato.  He wanted to turn invisible.  Or maybe just have a meteor crash into the castle.  Yeah, a meteor sounded nice.  He glanced over, and saw Pidge practically squealing in the back of the crowd that was quickly forming around the red and blue Paladins.  Keith panicked, looking over at Lance, who was still at a loss for words and mumbling incoherent sentences.  Then he thought - wait, how were they supposed to answer any of these questions if they themselves didn’t know the answers?

Keith grabbed Lance by his wrist, dragging him out towards the hall, an act that made Lance sputter even more.

“Woah there, Keith!  Don’t get too excited,” Hunk called out, laughing, as they walked out of the room.  Keith merely flipped him off, ignoring everything else.

They got to the hallway, but rather than stop to talk right outside the room, Keith kept walking.  He dragged Lance further down the hall until they were next to the airlock.  As soon as they stopped, Keith whirled around to face him.

“What was that?” He asked.  He tried to keep his tone even, but he doubted he sounded even remotely level-headed.

Lance blinked slowly, as if he was coming out of shock.  “What do you mean?” He asked.

“You  _ kissed _ me,” Keith said.

Lance blinked again, but this time in what seemed more like annoyance.  “You’re kidding, right?” Lance retorted.  “ _ You _ kissed  _ me. _ ”

“No I didn’t,” Keith said indignantly.  “You’re the one that fell on top of me!”

“Because Pidge’s bayard hit me in the back!”

“Because you weren’t paying attention!”

That made Lance hesitate.  He paused, before pointing an accusing finger at Keith’s chest.  “Well, wait,  _ you _ kissed back!”

Keith felt his face go red again.  “I did  _ not _ .”

“Yes, you did!”

“No, I didn’t!”

“Yes, you did!”

Keith didn’t say anything.  There was an awkward pause for a moment, before Lance continued, “Now what?”

Keith paused.  “I… don’t know.  Act like nothing happened?”

Lance sputtered.  “They’re not just gonna let this go,” He exclaimed, flapping his hands around.  “What are we gonna tell them?!”

Now it was Keith’s turn to put his hands up.  He was still waiting for that meteor to hit the castle.  Any time, now.  “The truth,” He snapped.  “It was an accident.”

“Was it?” A voice asked.  Both Paladins jumped.  Shiro stood a little down the hall, his arms crossed, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Well, I - ” Lance trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Of course it was.  What else could it have been?”

He seemed to be looking anywhere but Keith.  Shiro shrugged.  “I don’t know,” He said.  “That sounds like something you two have to work out.”

Lance huffed, crossing his arms and pouting.  Keith felt like doing the same.  Actually, he wanted to implode, but whatever.  “Thanks for the help, Dad,” Lance muttered sarcastically.

Shiro seemed amused at that.  “What do you expect me to say?” He asked, chuckling.  “This seems like kind of a unique situation.”

Keith wasn’t sure he could blush anymore than he already was.  He stared down at his shoes.  “If we’re supposed to figure… whatever this is… out by ourselves,” He said slowly, looking back up at Shiro, “why are you here?”

Shiro tilted his head slightly at the question.  “Well, I, uh…” He shrugged sheepishly.  “I wanted to see if you two were… okay, I guess.”

Lance huffed again.  “Well, we’re fine,” He snapped.  “So, shoo.”  He waved his hands at Shiro.

Shiro gave a wan smile.  “Alright, alright,” He said, putting his hands up in mock defeat. “I’ll go.  Just let me know if you need anything.  A snack…” He trailed off, before continuing.  “A condom, maybe.”

“GO!” Lance and Keith both shouted in horrified unison.  Shiro did a poor job of biting back a laugh, and walked away.

After he left, Keith and Lance were left in a silence that was even more awkward than before.  Lance’s arms were crossed, and he was staring out the airlock.  Keith stared at the ground, hands in his pockets.  The only noise was the slight energy hum of the doors closing off the airlock.

They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity, the whole time Keith’s mind spinning like a wheel.  Did the kiss mean anything?  It couldn’t have, since it was an accident.  At least, that’s what Keith told himself.  It couldn’t have been anything… right?  They were supposed to be rivals.  They were supposed to hate each other.

Yet… that’s not how Keith felt.

He remembered how worried he’d been when Lance had been injured when the Galra attacked the castle.

He remembered the panic he felt when he saw that Lance was about to get sucked out into space when the castle when haywire.

He remembered how easy and natural it felt working with Lance to save the Balmera and her people.

They didn’t hate each other… did they?  Keith certainly didn’t hate Lance.  But did the blue Paladin feel the same?

Keith looked up.  Lance was still staring out the window of the airlock door, a pout on his face.  His rather attractive face.

Keith blushed again, looking away.  “So… uh,” He mumbled.  “Should we… talk, or whatever?”

Lance looked over at him sharply.  “About what, exactly?” He asked.  “It was an accident.  Actually, it was technically Pidge’s fault.”

Keith rolled his eyes.  “You’re the one that dropped your shield,” He pointed out.

Lance huffed.  “You were distracting me!”

Keith’s eyebrows shot up.   _ “Me?” _ He asked incredulously.  “ _ I _ was distracting  _ you?” _

“Yeah,” Lance snapped.  “You were.  Talking about the Academy and shit.”

Keith didn’t realize they’d gotten closer until their faces were mere inches from each other.  “You’re the one that started talking about the Academy,” Keith retorted.  “You can’t go five seconds without boosting your own ego.”

Lance waved his hands in the air.  “Oh, well, ex- _ cuse _ me, Mr. Perfect.  We can’t all have mullets and perfect scores.”

Keith let out an exasperated groan.  “You are  _ infuriating _ .”

Lance raised his eyebrows.  “Oh,  _ I’m _ infuriating?  You’ve got to be ki-”

Lance let out a surprised ‘oomph’ as Keith grabbed the collar of the blue Paladin’s jacket and pulled him in for a kiss.

Keith had no idea what he was doing.  The only thing he really knew was that he was utterly, completely…  _ fucked _ .

Suddenly, Lance was kissing him back, grabbing the sides of Keith’s face to pull him closer - which wasn’t really possible, but regardless.  Keith stumbled forward until Lance’s back was pressed against the wall.  The kiss sent an electric pulse through Keith’s body.  He closed his eyes, leaning into it.

It was a mess.  It was sloppy and messy, and inexperienced.  Their teeth clacked against each other a few times.  But Keith loved every second of it.

It seemed to last for an eternity, before he was aware of the sudden need for oxygen.

He broke the kiss, only barely pulling away.  If he had climbed Mount Everest he would’ve been less breathless than this.  The pair paused for a moment, staring at each other in shock.

“You’re still infuriating,” Keith muttered breathlessly.

“Shut up,” Lance replied instantly, just as breathless, and grabbed the sides of Keith’s face to pull him in for another intense kiss.

It was like Keith couldn’t get enough.  This kiss was more coordinated, not as sloppy.  In fact, it was  _ way _ better than the one before.  Lance may have talked a lot of shit about how great he was in the love department, but Keith realized that he wasn’t just talking shit - he actually had shit to talk about.

Unfortunately, this kiss didn’t last as long.  It was interrupted by a loud  _ whoop _ .  Keith jumped back suddenly, aware of how cold his lips felt the second they separated from Lance’s.

Pidge and Hunk stood at the end of the hall.  Pidge had a triumphant grin on their face.  “You and Coran owe me twenty bucks,” They said, nudging Hunk.

Hunk sighed.  “I knew I should’ve bet on the other side.”

Lance sputtered, wiping at his mouth.  “Hold on, you guys made a betting pool on this?”

Pidge grinned.  “Yep,” They said.  “And now I’m gonna be rich.”

Keith was too distracted to process what they were saying.  He shoved his hands in his pockets and ducked his head, turning on his heel and walking the other direction.

“Hey - ” He heard Lance call after him, but he ignored him.  He needed a moment to himself.

 

*****

 

Lance still wasn’t quite sure what was happening.  But what he did know was that had been the best kiss he’d ever had.  He knew that Keith’s lip had been unexpectedly warm and soft.  He knew that he was fucked.

Lance  _ also _ knew that Pidge was probably about to pass out from hyperventilating.

“I  _ knew _ it,” They exclaimed.  “I  _ knew _ you guys liked each other!”

“We don’t,” Lance said indignantly, but his voice sounded weak, and his lips were still buzzing from the kiss.

Pidge crossed their arms, arching one of their eyebrows.  “You don’t, huh?” They asked skeptically, pushing their glasses up on their face.  “Is that why you two were passionately making out in a hallway?”

Lance felt his face go hot.  The buzzing in his lips seemed to get more intense.  “We-we weren’t… m-making out…” He stuttered.

Hunk snorted, crossing his arms, an amused look on his face.  “Really?” He asked.  “I guess Keith tripped and you caught him with your lips?”

Lance blushed even more.  “I - uh, I mean…” He stuttered again, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.  He would’ve liked to turn invisible right about then.  Actually, what he would’ve  _ preferred _ to do was kiss Keith again, but… 

Pidge and Hunk shared a look, as if they were reading Lance’s mind.  Hunk raised his hands in an ‘I-surrender’ gesture.  “Okay,” Pidge said, clearly biting back a chuckle, “I believe you.  I’m just saying… you two would be a cute couple.”

“The cutest,” Hunk agreed.

Lance had been under the impression he couldn’t blush anymore than he had.  He had been wrong.  “Wha - I - leave!” He snapped.

Pidge and Hunk snickered.  “Alright, alright,” Hunk laughed.  “No need to get anymore hot and bothered.”

The pair walked off, snickering to each other.  Lance put his head in his hands, letting out a pitiful moan.  How the hell could he possibly have gotten himself into this situation?  Stupid Allura.  Stupid Allura’s team-building exercises.  Stupid Pidge.  Stupid Pidge’s bayard.  Stupid Hunk.  Stupid Keith.

Stupid Keith and his stupid hair and his stupid jacket and his stupid face and his stupid lips and his stupid amazing kisses -

Lance let out another pitiful moan.  He was fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> creds to @batfamilytrash on tumblr for helping me write the fic! love you girl


	3. I Won't Say (I'm In Love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Keith is Great at Life Choices, and Lance is Gay.

Keith flopped down on his bed, sighing.  What in the world was going on?  One minute, he and Lance were at each other’s throats.  Now… technically, they still were, but in a completely different way.  His heart started beating faster as he recalled what just happened.

Keith had practically no experience with this - male, female, or otherwise.  Sure, he’d caught people at the Garrison checking him out, but he’d never paid them any attention.  He was beginning to wish that he had.  Who knew that getting blasted into space and sucked into the middle of a galactic war would cause so much sexual tension?

He sighed again.  Fuck Lance.  Fuck his stupid face and fuck his stupid lips and fuck his stupid kisses and fuck his stupid eyes.  Did Keith even  _ like _ Lance like that?

Well, obviously he did like Lance like that.  Otherwise he wouldn’t have kissed him.  Three times.  Technically the first time was an accident, but the other two definitely were not.  So, Keith very obviously liked him.  But was it just physical?  Or was it more than that?

He’d been surprisingly worried when Lance had been hurt during Sendak’s attack.  Like  _ really _ worried.  And angry.  At the time, he’d just chalked it up to adrenaline, and he assumed he’d be that upset if  _ anyone _ on the team was attacked like that.  He was beginning to think - beginning to realize, actually - that it was more than that.  Which had been evident from their tiny makeout session in the hall.  That had been interrupted by Pidge and Hunk.

_ Oh God _ .  Keith covered his face with his hands.  Why?  What did he do to deserve this?  One minute, he was happily living his life of almost dying while trying to save the universe.  The next, he was forced to question his self-proclaimed heterosexuality.

Typical.

There was only one course of action.  Denial.

He didn’t like Lance.  He didn’t like the way his dark eyes sparkled when he laughed.  And he didn’t like the way Lance sang.  And Keith  _ definitely _ didn’t like how soft his lips were.  Nope.  Not at all.  Not one bit.  Keith groaned again.  He was so fucked at this point, not even denial could help him.

He decided overthinking was his next best bet.

So what if he did like Lance?  It’s not like he’d ever like him back.  Sure, he’d been a very active participate in their brief makeout session, but that didn’t mean anything, not really.  It’d probably turn out that Lance didn’t even like him at all.  It’s not like Keith was a likable person.  He didn’t have any people skills whatsoever.  Lance would probably be better off without him.

The thought sent a dagger to Keith’s heart, but he ignored it.  He’d learned the hard way that when you’re alone, you’re less likely to get hurt.  It would be better for both of them this way.  Lance wouldn’t be able to hurt him, and Keith wouldn’t be able to hurt him back.  Operation Avoiding Lance At All Costs was a go.

 

*****

 

Keith was avoiding him.  It’d been almost two weeks (or so Lance thought - Altean time and Earth time were way different, and though Pidge had a clock that was supposedly synced up with Earth time, who’s to say if it was one hundred percent accurate) since their little makeout session, and Keith hadn’t even so much as looked in Lance’s general direction.  At first, Lance had been pretty much okay with it - he’d needed time to think.

Lance had always known he wasn’t straight.  He came from a big family - four younger siblings and two older ones, plus the two half-siblings on his mom’s side and the three half-siblings on his dad’s side, plus dozens of cousins and second cousins and third cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents and great grandparents and grand-aunts and grand-uncles and … well, you get the point.  You’ve heard of that saying ‘everyone has a gay cousin?’  Well, Lance’s family was full of gay cousins.  Including him (pansexual, technically).  So, the whole non-straight aspect of this Keith thing wasn’t even a thought in his head.  It was more of the fact that it was  _ Keith _ .

Keith, the guy Lance was supposed to hate.  Keith, his arch-rival.  Keith, who drove him nuts.  Keith, who had a stupid mullet.  Keith, who had saved his life more times than he could count.  Keith, who had eyes that were a pretty purplish-shade of navy blue.  Keith, whose lips were surprisingly warm and soft -

Off topic.  Way off topic.

Okay, so Lance thought Keith was cute.  Big deal.  And he also liked kissing him.  Again, big deal.  Physical attraction (i.e. hate makeout session) wasn’t necessarily the same thing as romantic attraction.  Clearly, Lance liked him physically… but was it also romantic?  He didn’t know.  Did he?  Maybe the only way to find out was to do something about it.

But Keith wasn’t exactly making it easy for him.  He always seemed to be leaving a room whenever Lance was entering it.  Anytime he saw Lance walking down a hall, Keith practically ran the other way.  And, as mentioned before, Keith wouldn’t even look in his direction.  It was until it was officially two weeks after the… incident… that Lance even made a breakthrough.  And it technically wasn’t even a breakthrough, but it was the closest thing he had to one.

He was walking past the kitchen and galley when he heard Shiro’s voice saying, “Look, I know I’m risking bodily injury by saying anything - ”

“Then don’t say anything.”  Lance tensed.  That was Keith who had just spoken, and he sounded… angry.

“-  _ but _ ,” Shiro continued, putting emphasis on the word, “I think you should talk to Lance.  About… whatever it is, you guys need to talk about.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Keith retorted, his tone - and words - making Lance’s stomach drop more than he’d ever care to admit.  He considered turning around and walking away, but Shiro started talking again.

“You sure?” He asked.  “Because it didn’t seem like that a few weeks ago.  And don’t think I didn’t notice how worried you were when he got hurt during Sendak’s attack.  Or the way you look at him when you think no one’s looking.”

Lance frowned.  How did Keith look at him?  There was an agonizing silence.  Finally, Keith muttered, “And?”

“And,” Shiro said slowly, drawing the word out, “you very obviously like him.”

That hit Lance like a freight train.  A warm feeling buzzed in the pit of his stomach.  Cue another agonizing silence, until Keith spoke again.  “So what?”

_ So what?  So  _ what _?! _  Lance resisted the urge to burst in there and start yelling.  Shiro seemed to be thinking the same thing, because he sighed in dramatic exasperation.  “So, I think you should talk to him,” He said.  “And, look, I know it’s not really any of my business, but - ”

“You’re right,” Keith interrupted.  “It’s  _ not _ any of your business.”

His tone sent chills down Lance’s spine.  It sounded like Keith was about to leave, so Lance decided that was the exact moment he needed to get out of there.  He turned around, practically sprinting back the way he’d come.  He walked for a while in the direction he thought his room was, mulling over what he’d just heard.

Keith liked him.  Lance grinned.  Oh man, was this gonna be fun.  Except… now he just had to work out how to get Keith to stop avoiding him.  He was surprisingly good at the whole avoiding thing, especially since they literally lived down the hall from each other.  “Lance!”  
He jumped, turning around.  Hunk was practically sprinting down the hall towards him.  “Oh, buddy, thank God I found you.”  He skidded to stop, catching his breath.  “Shiro needs to talk to us.”

Lance frowned.  “About what?”

Hunk shrugged.  “Didn’t say.  But c’mon, we’ve gotta go like right now.”

They took off in a sprint, Lance following Hunk to - where ever it was they were going.  Lance followed Hunk into the training room, and skidded to a stop a few feet into the room.  Keith stood a few feet away, his arms crossed and his back to Lance.  But he turned when Lance’s shoes squeaked on the floor.  His eyes widened.  “Uh,” Lance said awkwardly, “Hunk, where’s - ”

He turned, but Hunk wasn’t in the room.  He frowned, just before every single door of the training room slammed shut.  He jumped in surprise.  He looked at Keith, who looked just as bewildered.  They both looked up at the observation deck as the speakers came to life.  Standing above them were none other than Pidge and Hunk (how Hunk had gotten up there so quickly was unknown to Lance).

“Guys,” Lance asked, his voice a higher octave than he would’ve wanted, “what are you doing?”

“The Lord’s work,” Hunk replied, grinning.

“Uh…” Lance and Keith exchanged a look.  “What?”

“We’re locking you guys in here until you sort out your problems,” Pidge said.

Lance.exe has stopped working.  He blanched.  “This isn’t funny,” Keith said threatenly.

“You can’t just run away from your problems, guys,” Hunk said.

“No, running’s good,” Lance said.  “I’m gonna run.”

“There’s no way Shiro and Allura are just letting you guys do this,” Keith snapped.

“They might not agree with our methods,” Pidge replied, “but they’re for the cause.”

Lance spread his arms in indignation.  “You guys aren’t actually doing this, are you?”

“Yep!” Pidge and Hunk both responded in unison.

“Also,” Pidge added, “the speakers will be off, so don’t bother trying to yell at us.”

“Wait - ” Lance said, starting to panic, “ - how will you guys know to let us out?”

But the speakers had already been shut off.  Lance sighed dramatically.  “Oh, come  _ on _ .”

They stood there in silence for a few minutes, neither of them doing anything.  Lance stared at the floor, scuffing the ground with his shoes, his hands shoved in his pockets.  Eventually, Lance ended up sitting with his back to the wall and Keith sitting a few feet away.

It’d been probably an hour (or, at least, it felt like it), and neither of them had said a word.  They were close enough to talk to each other at a normal volume if they wanted, but neither seemed willing to start the conversation.  Finally, Lance couldn’t take it anymore.  “I heard you and Shiro talking earlier,” He blurted out.

Keith’s head snapped up.  “You… what?” He sputtered.

_ That’s cute _ , Lance thought.

Lance smothered a grin.  “I heard you talking earlier,” He repeated.

Keith’s face grew redder than his lion.  “H-how much did you hear?” He stuttered.

Lance was no longer able to suppress his grin.  “Oh… y’know… all of it.”

The red paladin’s face flushed even more (which, at this point, shouldn’t have been possible), and he buried his face in his hands.  “This is the worst day of my life.”

Lance’s grin grew.  He scooted closer.  “Man, am I happy I eavesdropped.”

“Why?” Keith snapped, looking up.  “So you can tease me endlessly about it?”

“Nope.  Well, yes, but not really.  It’s mainly so I can do  _ this. _ ”

Lance leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Keith’s lips.  For a few brief moments, Keith just sat there in shock.  He seemed to finally register what was happening, because he wrapped his arms around Lance’s neck and started kissing back.  This kiss wasn’t as messy or uncoordinated.  It was less intense, but just as passionate.  Lance didn’t want to break the kiss, but he did.  You know, breathing and all that.  Keith’s face had managed to get redder, but he kept his arms wrapped around Lance’s neck.  “I… you - wait, so -” He stuttered breathlessly.

Lance broke him off with another kiss, this one chaste and quick, just enough to stop him from talking.  He pulled back again, and Keith was left speechless.  Lance laughed at the look on his face.  He laughed so hard, his eyes started watering.  “If I knew that this was all it took to shut you up, I would’ve done it  _ weeks _ ago,” He said, wiping at his eyes.

Keith scowled, shoving Lance away.  That just made the blue paladin laugh harder.  Keith seemed intent on getting up and walking away, but Lance latched onto his wrist.  “Wait, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He said, even though he was still chuckling.  Keith reluctantly settled back into place.  They sat so their knees were touching, leaned close to each other so their breaths intermingled.

They stared at each other a moment - Lance still stifling a few chuckles - before Keith asked, “So… what does this mean for us?”

_ Us. _

Lance felt the corners of his lips twitch up in a slight smile.  “Us?” He asked, purposefully trying to make his voice sound teasing.   _ Be honest, but don’t let anyone see how you  _ really  _ feel. _  “I have to say, I kind of like the sound of ‘ _ us _ .’”

And just when Lance didn’t think Keith could blush anymore than he already was.  He grinned at the way Keith’s eyes lit up.  Then he thought of the  _ best _ pick-up line.  “You know,” He said, “if I could, I’d rearrange the alphabet so I can put ‘u’ and ‘i’ together.”

Keith stared at him for a moment, then blinked in confusion, frowning.  “You’d rearrange the alphabet just for two letters?”

Lance groaned in exasperation, hitting the wall with the side of his head.  “You’re hopeless,” He sighed.  The other paladin still looked bewildered.

“I don’t get it,” He said.

“That was very obvious,” Lance retorted.

The pair sat in another brief silence, but this time it wasn’t as painfully awkward.  “So,” Keith said finally, “does this mean… are we -”

“Yes,” Lance said immediately, then backtracked.  “Well, I mean, if you - if you  _ want _ …”

“Yes.” Keith nodded.

Lance grinned.  “Okay!” He said.  “That settles it.  Except… is Pidge ever gonna let us out?”

The other paladin sighed.  “Probably not,” He muttered.

Lance grinned again.  “Well, I’m sure we can find a few ways to pass the time.”

Keith blinked in confusion again.  “Like what?”

_ He has no idea what I’m talking about, _ Lance realized.  “Keith,” He sighed, “you have so much to learn.”

 

*****

 

“ _ How _ long?” Allura exclaimed.

“Uhhhh,” Hunk rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, glancing at Pidge, “a few hours?”

Shiro sighed.  “Let them out,” He said sternly.  “Now.”

“We already did,” Pidge replied.  “Kind of.  We unlocked the doors.”

Shiro and Allura frowned.  “So, why come for us?” She asked hesitantly.

Pidge and Hunk exchanged another look.  “Well, we don’t know if we should leave them there, or -”

“Wait, what?” Shiro held up a hand.  “Backtrack a little here, guys.”

Once again, Pidge and Hunk exchanged a look.  “It’d be easier if we just showed you.”

The four walked out of the control room and down to the training room.  Shiro wasn’t quite sure what he’d been expecting.  But it definitely wasn’t what he found.  Lance was slumped against the wall, sound asleep, his head rolled to the side.  Keith lay next to him (also asleep), his head burrowed against his chest and their legs overlapping.  Even from the far end of his room, Shiro could see that they were holding hands.  It warmed his heart.

The four just stood there for a moment, looking at the unconscious red and blue paladins.  Finally, Pidge asked, “So, do we just leave them there or…?”

“Well,” Allura said, “they look rather comfortable there.”

“Yeah, but isn’t that bad for their necks or something?” Hunk asked.

There was a brief silence before the others turned to look at Shiro.  He thought for a moment.  “I say we leave them,” He decided finally.  “They deserve a little rest.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this took us ten years to finish. Hopefully chapter four won't take as long. (P.S. follow us on tumblr - same URLS.)


	4. Little Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the little things that seem to matter the most.

Lance had assumed that being in a relationship with Keith would be  _ way _ different than being Keith’s self-proclaimed nemesis.  But that was hardly the case.

They still bickered (constantly).  They still annoyed the team with all their bickering.  They still riled each other up.  They still competed to see who could do something better.  The only difference now was that there was a lot more kissing involved, amongst… other things.

Lance had assumed that this whole thing would be nothing but them fumbling and being awkward around each other, but the overall dynamic itself hadn’t changed much.  They were closer now, though, and Lance was beginning to see that there was a lot that the two didn’t know about each other.  So… maybe there  _ was _ some awkwardness and fumbling, just not as much as he initially thought there would be.

 

*****

 

They were trapped, tangled, in a net dangling twenty feet off the ground, and it was entirely Lance’s fault.  Keith said as much.  Lance sputtered.  “How the hell is this  _ my _ fault?”

“You chased after an enemy - on your own - into a strange forest on a strange planet,” Keith said flatly.

“How was I supposed to know he’d have a bunch of traps set up?” Lance asked indignantly.

“You could’ve paused and thought about it before going in - again, on your own.”

“I thought you guys would follow me!”

“You shouted, ‘Move, I got this.’”

“Okay, well,  _ you _ still chased after me.”

“Because I had to.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Yeah, and why’s that?”

Keith’s cheeks felt hot.   _ You know why, _ he thought.  Lance must’ve read his mind, because he didn’t say anything and just looked away.

Finally, Keith said, “Your feet smell disgusting.”

“Are you sniffing my feet?”

“It’s hard not to when they’re literally right in my face, Lance.”

Lance snorted, a small smirk on his face.  “Uh-huh.  You’re just saying that so no one knows you have a foot fetish.”

“A foot what?”

He gasped in shock.  “Dude, do you  _ seriously _ not know what a fetish is?” He asked incredulously.

Keith shrugged - or he tried to.  It’s not an easy accomplishment when you and your boyfriend are tangled and trapped in a net suspended above the ground.  Lance shook his head in dismay.  “ _ Man _ .  If I’d known I was gonna get sucked into space with someone as clueless as you, I would’ve brought my computer.  I mean, I would’ve brought my computer anyways, but…”

Keith frowned.  “I’m confused,” He said.

Lance sighed dramatically.  “I know.”  He perked up suddenly.  “Wait, don’t you have your bayard?”

Keith shook his head.  “I dropped it when the net got us,” He muttered.  “Besides, the way we’re tangled up, we’d probably just ended up getting stabbed.”

“Probably.  Where the hell is everyone?”

“It’s a big forest.  They probably have no idea where we are.”

“Okay, yeah, but they’ll find us, right?”

“…Yeah.  I mean, eventually.”

“Eventually.”

Neither of them sounded very convinced.  “This is like something my brothers would do,” Lance said suddenly.  
“Trap you in a net in the middle of a forest?” Keith asked, bemused.

The blue paladin snorted again.  “Yeah.  Sounds  _ exactly _ like something they would do.”

“How many siblings do you have, anyways?”

“Including my half-siblings?  Eleven.”

Keith made a choking sound.  “ _ Eleven? _ ”

Lance shrugged.  Keith still felt a little… envious, almost.  This wasn’t the first time he’d found himself wishing he had a family like Lance’s.  Hell,  _ any _ family would be better than none.  Suddenly, he heard someone laughing.  He jerked forward, pulled out of his thoughts, twisting to look at the ground.  Lance obviously had the same idea, because one of his feet kicked Keith right in the face.  “Ow!”

“Sorry!”  Lance said quickly.  “Sorry.”

“Hey guys!” Hunk called up, laughing.  “What’s up?”

Keith rubbed his nose.  It felt swollen.  “Not funny,” He shouted back.  “Get us down!”

Hunk was grinning.  “Alright, alright, gimme a sec,” He said, then ran away.

After a few minutes, he heard rustling again.  They both turned to look again, just… more carefully.  And slower.  Hunk had returned with Shiro and Pidge.  The three of them stared up at the net.  “How do you guys manage to get yourselves into these situations?” Pidge called up.

“It was Lance’s fault,” Keith replied immediately.

Shiro frowned.  “Is your nose swollen?” He asked.

“ _ Also _ Lance’s fault.”

The blue paladin pouted.  “Can you guys just get us down?”

“Yeah, just give us a second,” Shiro said.

The trio set about, trying to find a way to let the red and blue paladins down.  Then, Hunk shouted, “Got it!”

He was holding a thick rope that seemed to be connected to the net.  “Lemme just -”  Everyone shouted, “NO,” as he yanked on the rope.

The net dropped to the ground at an alarming speed.  Fortunately, something broke Lance’s fall.  Unfortunately, that someone was Keith.  They both moaned in pain.  “Get off,” Keith wheezed.  Lance managed to roll off to the side.

“Hunk, I’m gonna kill you,” Lance said weakly.

The yellow paladin shrugged.  “Hey, I got you guys down didn’t I?” He said.  Pidge rolled their eyes.

Shiro helped the pair to their feet.  “You guys okay?”

“I’m pretty sure Lance broke my back  _ and _ my nose, but hey, other than that…” Keith glared at his boyfriend, and who threw his hands up in the air.

“Okay,  _ really _ -”

They launched into an argument.  “Guys, really?” Shiro asked, sighing in exasperation.  The pair ignored him.

Pidge and Hunk exchanged a look.  “Let’s just leave them,” Pidge said.

It took Lance and Keith a good few minutes before they realized they’d been left alone.  “Uh… where’d they go?” Lance asked.

The pair looked around.  “Guys?”

 

*****

 

“You’re shitting me.”  Keith couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“I swear I’m not.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“What?  It’s not  _ that _ weird.”

“For you, it is.”

“C’mon, it’s not like it’s some secret kink I’ve never told you about.”

“Okay, I still have no idea what a kink is.”

“Be glad for that.”

“Lance.”

“Keith.”  Lance’s voice was teasing, a grin spreading across his face.

“I never had you pegged for a guy who knows how to play  _ piano _ , of all things.”

“Okay, seriously, it’s not that weird!”

“It’s very weird.”

“My mom taught me, okay?  My siblings know, too.  It’s like… a family thing.”

“Now that’s just sappy.”

“You know what?   _ Fight me. _ ”

Keith scoffed.  “You’d lose.”

“Wanna bet?”

“You couldn’t beat me.”

“Uh-huh?  Even in, I don’t know,  _ wrestling? _ ”

“Well… I guess there’s only one way to find out _. _ ”

 

*****

 

“Your feet are cold,” Lance mumbled.

“Deal with it,” Keith muttered back, not bothering to turn back around to face him.  He was beginning to think Lance was the one with a foot fetish (even though he still wasn’t entirely sure what that was).  “Go to sleep, Lance.  It’s, like, two in the morning.”

Allura had kicked their sorry asses in training all day.  All he wanted to do was sleep, but apparently all Lance wanted to do was complain.

“Time is concept, especially considering the fact that we’re light years away from Earth, floating in the middle of nowhere, on a ship that’s synced with the time zone of a planet that been gone for a bazillion years.”

“And your feet are cold,” Lance added.  
The red paladin sighed.  “Then scoot over.”

“But you’re warm.”

“You  _ just _ said that my feet are cold.”

“Yeah, your  _ feet _ , but not the rest of you.”

He sighed again.  “You are, without a doubt, the worst person I’ve ever had to share a bed with.  Ever,” He said, not really thinking about what he’d said.

“Wait,” Lance said, “hold on - what?”

Keith blinked, thinking over what he’d just said.  That sentence might’ve been interpreted wrong.  “Not like that,” He said.  “I mean, I’ve slept  _ next _ to people, but not like…”

“Care to give me some context?”

The red paladin groaned.  “I’m tired, Lance.”

“No, no, you are  _ not _ backing out of this now,” The other paladin said teasingly, propping himself up on his elbow.  “We both know there’s no way in hell I’m gonna be able to sleep now.”

“Ugh, fine.”  Keith turned his head to look at his boyfriend.  “In a few of my foster homes, I had to share a bed with some of my foster siblings.”

“Really?” Lance sounded surprised.

“Really,” He said, yawning.  “I’m kind of surprised you and your siblings didn’t have to share beds.  I mean, you have eleven of them, right?”

“Well, yeah, but my half-siblings were all over eighteen by the time I was born, so…. And, we shared rooms and stuff - still do, actually - but never beds.  Is that what it’s really like?”

Keith sighed for the third time.  This is exactly why he didn’t want to talk about the foster system - it’d lead to a long conversation filled with questions he couldn’t or didn’t want to answer.   _ “Its?” _ He asked irritably.  “You can say ‘foster system,’ Lance.  The words aren’t cursed, or whatever.  And, yeah.  That’s what it's really like.  It sucks.”

“I figured, since you decided a shack in the middle of the desert was better.”

He snorted in genuine amusement.  It was weird, the way Lance could make Keith feel better just by being… Lance.  “Not by much,” He said, smiling.  Lance smiled back.

“Can we go to bed now?”

“Your feet are still cold.”

_ “Lance.” _

 

*****

 

It had been a long day and a half.  The team had been hitting Galra bases left and right, but not without getting hit themselves.  The past few hours had been especially harrowing, with a few close calls that were… too close for comfort.  Especially in regards to Keith.  The way his lion had been hit - they way he had spiraled towards the ground before Shiro managed to catch him… Pidge shuddered just thinking about it.  He’d been okay, but it was the fact that he almost wasn’t that shook everyone up.  Lance especially.  When the team had gotten back to the castle and out of their lions, everyone had quickly dispersed after seeing the look on the blue paladin’s face.

Pidge walked down the hall, towards the lounge.  Everyone else was asleep, but they weren’t tired.  They  _ refused _ to be.  They had stuff to add to their Lion, modifications to make.  They’d left their computer (or, the closest thing that Alteans had to a computer) in the lounge, and if they hoped to make any modifications to their Lion, they’d need it.  They yawned, rubbing their arms.  They weren’t tired.  Nope, not at all.

As Pidge walked into the lounge, it took them a moment to realize they weren’t the only ones in there.  They sucked in a breath, then whispered, “Holy shit.  I gotta get Hunk.”

Fifteen minutes later, they returned with the yellow paladin in tow, grumbling and sleep-deprived.  “Pidge, c’mon, you should be asleep,” He said.  “And so should I.”

Pidge waved that aside.  “Later,” They replied.  “This is more important.”

“How important?”

“Just wait and see.”

The pair walked in silence for a few moments before they came to the lounge.  “Pidge,” Hunk yawned, “I’m  _ tired _ .”

“This is more important than sleep.”

“What could possib-”

Hunk cut himself off when he saw what Pidge had wanted him to.

Keith and Lance were passed out on one of the couches.  They’d changed out of their paladin uniforms, wearing pajama-esque clothes.  They way they were lying, Keith was practically on top of Lance, his head burrowed against the blue paladin’s neck.  And the way Lance was holding him… it was like if he let go, the other would be gone forever.

Hunk blinked.  “Uh… this is what you dragged me here for?” He asked.

Pidge stared at him.  “Obviously.”

He sighed.  “Well, do we just… leave them here?”

They shrugged.  “Do you really wanna be the one to separate them?”

“No.”

“Then we leave them.”

There was a long silence, before Hunk said, “On one hand, they’re pretty cute, but on the other…”

“They’re sickening,” Pidge continued.

“Yeah… but it’s better than not having anyone, right?”

“Of course.  They’re still sickening.”

“Yeah, no doubt about that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, we know! Sorry for the delay. Let us know what you think. (P.S. follow us on tumblr - same URLS.)


	5. Seeing Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which the angst begins. And also the title is way too literal. You've been warned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send all hate/comments to my ask @galacticladynoir and @batfamilytrash. Leave comments! We love to see all the things you have to say!
> 
>  
> 
> *cough* *cough* dont you love when people copy your shit? http://archiveofourown.org/works/7592410  
> *cough*

Lance felt sick.  It was like his entire world was being ripped out from underneath him.  Like he was about to float away into space, gone and lost forever.

It should’ve been a simple mission.  Spying on a Galra base on a planet that was mainly forest-covered mountains.  Lance couldn’t even remember what they’d been spying on the Galra for, exactly.  How the Galra operated, to see if they could find any information on what Zarkon was planning, if they could find any weaknesses.  The group had split up - Lance and Keith, Pidge and Hunk, and Shiro on his own.

It should’ve been a simple mission.  But everything went to hell when one of the Galra had spotted Lance and Keith.  They’d tried to fight back, but Galra soldiers started crawling out of the woodwork like termites.  So, they had run.  But Keith had been hurt.  Badly.

They’d been retreating, but a single Galra soldier had managed to follow them.  Lance had gotten knocked to the side, his head slamming against a tree trunk, his vision becoming blurry.  His vision cleared just in time to see Keith getting completely run through with the Galra soldier’s sword.  Lance had let out a blood-curdling scream, shooting the soldier without any hesitation and scrambling towards Keith.

Lance had always associated the color red with Keith, but not like this.  Never like this.  Red rushing out of the gaping wound in his torso.  Red trailed down from his mouth.  Red stained on his hands.  Red pooled on the ground.  Red covering the white of his paladin suit.  There was red on Lance, too.  On his hands, his uniform.  He was trying to stop the red from spreading, but it wasn’t working.  Why wasn’t it working?

The comms weren’t working, either.  Why weren’t the comms working?  “Shiro?” Lance asked desperately.  “Allura?  Coran?   _ Fucking anyone?!” _

“L-Lance,” Keith choked out, but Lance shushed him.

“Just… just shut up, okay?” He snapped, his voice cracking.  “You gotta… gotta save your s-strength.”  His eyes were started to tear up.

He wanted to say more, but he couldn’t.  He couldn’t think of anything else to say.  His thoughts were a jumbled mess.  There was sudden shouting in the distance.  Lance tensed, a single coherent thought shoving its way into his head:  _ we have to get out of here. _  But there was no way Keith could walk.  Hell, he couldn’t even keep his head up.

Lance took a shaky breath, before shifting, putting one of his arms behind Keith’s back and the other under his knees.  He managed to stand, carrying Keith bridal-style.  The red paladin was surprisingly light.  If they were in any other situation, Lance probably would’ve laughed.  But this was far from funny.  Keith was barely even conscious at this point.  Allura had dropped them off with the ship in camouflage, saying they shouldn’t use the lions for stealth, but Lance had no idea where the ship was now.  They had run off randomly into the forest, getting all turned around and lost.

So he did the only thing there was left to do.  He walked.

He walked in the direction he thought was away from the shouting.  But… what if the shouting was from Shiro or the others?  He wasn’t willing to risk it, though.  There was too much at stake here.

Lance had always loved scenes like this in movies and shows.  Where the hero carries his damsel in distress away to safety, with dramatic music playing in the background, making the scene beautiful and romantic.  But now he was realizing just how disgustingly romanticized scenes like that were.  There was nothing romantic or beautiful about how Keith’s blood felt hot and sticky on Lance’s hands.  There was nothing romantic about the smell of his blood.  There was nothing beautiful about Keith’s labored breathing.  Nothing beautiful about how pale he was getting, nothing beautiful about how his hair was plastered against his head with blood and sweat.  Nothing beautiful about the blood trailing from his mouth.

There was nothing beautiful or romantic about this.

A series of sudden and violent coughs wracked Keith’s body.  More blood gushed out of his mouth.  Lance stopped walking, but Keith’s coughing just got worse.  Lance slowly knelt, still partially holding Keith.  He stopped coughing, but he breathing was more erratic, more labored.  There was blood everywhere.  His eyes had a vacant look in his eyes.  “Keith, hey, look at me,” Lance whispered desperately.

“Hey, hey,” He continued softly, brushing Keith’s hair back, “focus on my voice.”

Keith looked at him.  “L-Lance… I-” He started coughing again.

“Hey, ssh, ssh,” Lance said, his voice cracking again.  “It’s okay, baby.  I’ve got you.  You’re gonna be okay.”  He felt tears streaking down his cheeks, hot and wet.  A sob tried to escape his lips, but it came out choked and hiccup-y.

Keith’s eyes widened.  Shakily, he managed to raise his hand, brushing the tears away.  Lance leaned into the touch, putting his hand over Keith’s.  “You’re - you’re gonna be o-okay,” He choked out.  The other paladin just weakly shook his head, before another fit of coughing took over.

Lance hated it.  He hated seeing Keith like this - bleeding out, weak, shaky.  Dying.   _ He’s not dying he’s not dying he’s not dying he’s not dying he’s not dying he’s not dying he’s not - _

“-ance? Are you there?”

Shiro’s voice crackled over the comm of Lance’s helmet.  He started in surprise.  “Shiro?” He asked, his voice sounding hoarse and weak, even to himself.  Keith’s breaths were getting more shallow and labored by the second.

“Lance?  What’s wrong?  You sound-”

Lance didn’t even wait for him to finish his sentence.  “It’s - it’s Keith.  He’s… he’s… he’s…” His voice cracked, looking down at the boy bleeding out in his arms.  “We - he needs  help.  Now.”

“Allura’s got your location.  We’re on our way, bu-”  His voice was cut off by static.

“Shiro?”

“Lance.”  It was spoken so quietly, Lance wasn’t even sure he’d heard it.  Another sob threatened to break past his lips as he focused his attention back on Keith.

“Keith.” Lance leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead.  “Help’s coming, okay?  You’re gonna be okay, baby.”

“Lance,” Keith croaked again, “I… I…”

He stopped moving.

“Keith?   _ Keith? _  Keith, please.  Please, no.  No.  No no no no no no no…”

It should’ve been a simple mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you hear our diabolical laughter? Edit: Sorry for forgetting to add trigger tags earlier, and thanks to everyone who reminded us to.


	6. Are You There, God? It's Me, Lance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is tired of waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We know this is SO late, but it's here now. Please leave comments!! We love seeing that people actually like this,,, please

It had been a week.  Lance sat cross-legged in front of the healing pod.  It’s where he’d been, and it’s where he’d be until Keith finally woke up.

The team had found Lance cradling him, sobbing.  According to Allura, if they had shown up a few moments later, Keith would’ve been gone for good.  It was a miracle that he wasn’t.

_ Miracle. _

That’s what Allura had said.  This was hardly a miracle.  Hardly.

Keith had always been pale (kind of pasty, to be honest), but now… he looked like a ghost in limbo, floating in that pod.  He looked weird.  Lonely.

Lance hated this.  He hated seeing Keith so weak, so pale.  And he hated not being able to do anything about it, most of all.

The others had each taken turns, sitting next to Lance, waiting for the same thing he was.  But they had all left already.  It was late, and he was exhausted, but there was no way in hell he was going to bad.  He’d gotten into the habit of passing out in front of the healing pod, and then waking up in his bed - without a doubt thanks to Shiro, and occasionally Hunk.  Hell, probably even Allura.  But no way Lance was just gonna leave and go to bed.  He wouldn’t leave Keith.  He couldn’t.

One of the worst things about this whole situation was that it left Lance alone with his thoughts.

What if the team had been too late?  What if Keith hadn’t made it?  What if Lance had been able to do more than just get his ass knocked against a freaking tree?

Lance pulled at his hair, squeezing his eyes shut.  He was in hell.  More than anything - more than what  _ he _ was feeling - he just wanted to take Keith’s pain away.  To just… rewind.  But he couldn’t.

They never should have gone on that goddamn mission.

“You do have to sleep, at some point,” A voice said.  Lance jumped, turning his head to look.  Hunk stood in the doorway of the medbay.

Lance turned his focus back to Keith.  “I’m not leaving him,” He said softly.

Hunk sighed.  “I figured.”  He walked into the room, plopping down next to him.

There was a long pause, but after a while, Hunk asked, “You’re probably tired of getting asked this, especially since it’s obvious that you’re not, but as your friend I still gotta ask… you okay, buddy?”

It was Lance’s turn to sigh.  He contemplated his answer.  It’d be easier to just say,  _ Yeah, I’m fine _ .  But the idea of doing that made him feel… sick, almost.  Keeping all of this inside would kill him.  “No.  But I’ll be a lot better when he wakes up.”

This seemed to be a decent answer, because Hunk said, softly, “I guess that’s better than nothing, huh?”

Lance didn’t reply.  The pair sat in silence, with no light to illuminate them but from that of the healing pods.  He didn’t know how long they sat there, but it felt like a few hours.  The next thing he knew, he was waking up in his bed, his blankets pulled over him.  He didn’t doubt that Hunk was the person to thank.

It was strange, really, how sleeping just made Lance more exhausted.  It took him forever to fall asleep, but when he did it was never peaceful.  It swung violently between no dreams at all and horrible nightmares.  Most of the time, he woke up in a cold sweat, heart pounding.  For a few moments, he’d wonder why Keith wasn’t lying in bed with him, softly snoring, his arm thrown over Lance’s torso.  Then Lance would remember.

He sighed shakily, rubbing the sleep (and tears) out of his eyes.  A thought popped into his head - his older sister, Nikola, laughing at his sorry ass.  He could imagine what’d she’d say.   _ “Only you would get a boyfriend, and then have him almost die in your arms immediately after.” _

He’d probably laugh along with her, too.  But he didn’t feel like laughing now.  Lance slowly dragged himself out of his bed.  He was still wearing his clothes from the day before, but his socks and jacket had been removed (also, undoubtedly, thanks to Hunk).  He sighed, dragging his hand through his disheveled hair.  He knew he looked like shit, but he didn’t care.  He was too exhausted to care.

_ Please just let him be okay. _

 

*****

 

Another week came and went, and Keith still hadn’t woken up.  Lance was getting tired of waiting.  Correction - he was  _ exhausted _ of waiting.

At this point, it would’ve been ludicrous to stay camped out in the medbay.  But that didn’t stop him.  His routine hadn’t changed much.  He woke up, he got some food, and he went to wait.  Sometimes, if his thoughts started to drown him, he’d go train or shower or something.  Other than that, he only left for food.

Now, Lance sat in his usual place of vigil, hugging his knees.  He stared at Keith’s unmoving body.  A lump formed in Lance’s throat, and he buried his head in his arms, trying not to cry.  Again.

He took a shaky breath, looking back up after a while.   _ Wake up already, asshole, _ He thought.   _ Let me kiss you again. _  Lance wanted to tease Keith about his hair again.  He wanted to get into silly arguments again.  He wanted to wake up next to him again.

But he couldn’t.  Why?  Because Keith was in a fucking coma.

_ Any day now, Keith. _

 

*****

 

It had been three weeks.  They’d been forced to fight off Galra forces without the red paladin, and every second of it had felt wrong to Lance.  As soon as they got back to the castle, he went straight back to the medbay.  He sat in there for an hour before leaving in search of food and a shower.

That night was added to the long list of nights where Lance fell asleep in the medbay.

_ Please just wake up already. _

 

*****

 

Four weeks.  It had been four weeks.

Lance lay on his bed (Keith’s bed, actually), staring up at the ceiling.  He couldn’t sleep.  That, in it of itself, wasn’t actually surprising.  It took him forever to fall asleep nowadays, and it was always a restless sleep.  He’d toss and turn, acutely aware of the empty space in the bed next to him.

It was on one of these nights that Lance decided to drag himself out of bed.  He didn’t know where he was going, but at the same time, he did.  To no surprise, he ended up in the medbay.  He sat himself down in his usual spot in front of Keith’s healing pod.  There was no sound but the hum of the machines.  Lance just sat there for a moment, before he couldn’t bare the silence anymore.

“You’re an asshole, you know that?”

There was no response.

“First, you don’t even remember me.  Then, you decide you hate me.  Then, you make me fall in love with you.  And as soon as you do that, you go and get yourself shish kabobed.  I mean shit, what’s a guy supposed to do?”

Lance brushed away tears he hadn’t realized were falling.  He took a shuddering breath, hugging his knees closer to himself.

“You - you know that saying, ‘home is where the heart is?’”

Again, no response.

Lance snorted bitterly.  “No, you probably don’t, considering you live under a rock and all.  But, yeah.  ‘Home is where the heart is.’”

He looked up.  “Home might be where the heart is, but you fucking stole mine, you asshole.”  His voice sounded shaky.  He swallowed a lump in his throat.  “Just - just be okay.  Please, just… wake up.  Okay?”

There wasn’t a response.

 

*****

 

Five weeks.

“It really should be any day now,” Allura insisted with feigned cheerfulness.

But Lance saw the looks between her and Coran.  He noticed the hushed conversations between her and Shiro.  He noticed how Hunk, and even Pidge, were going out of their way to be nice to him.  He noticed the harsh, distance look Shiro always seemed to have in his eyes now.  And, of course, Keith wasn’t awake.

Lance had lost hope that the red paladin would ever actually wake up.

He sighed.

Surprisingly, he was sitting in the medbay as usual.  He was sitting on one of the indoor observation decks that plagued the upper levels of the castle.  The whole room was just vast windows for walls, giving view to the cosmos.

Lance stared out the windows.  Directly in front of the castle was a giant nebula, swirling colors of purple and blue and green, white flecks of stars making it look… magical.  Peaceful.

He wished Keith was here to see it.

The doors to the room slid open behind him.  He didn’t turn to see who it was.  Allura sat down next to him.  Lance blinked in surprised.  He’d been expecting Shiro, or Hunk.  Although, he supposed it wasn’t actually that strange.  He looked back out the windows.

Allura seemed to be hesitating.  Finally, after an uncertain moment, she asked softly, “Are you alright?”

The question surprised him.  He let out a bitter, humorless laugh.  “Peachy,” He muttered.

The princess sighed.  “Yes, I suppose that was a foolish question, wasn’t it?  I… just came to see how you were doing.  I can leave, if you’d like.”

“It’s fine,” Lance said quickly.  “Really, I don’t mind.”

There was a long, almost comfortable pause, where the pair simply sat and watched the stars.  Then, Lance spoke.  “He’s not going to wake up, is he?”

He spoke in a hushed whisper, as if anything louder than that would break him.

Allura blinked in surprise.  She then frowned.  “Lance,” She said, sounding almost as if she was scolding him, “what makes you think that?”

The blue paladin focused intently on the stars, a nauseous feeling forming in his stomach.  “It’s been almost six weeks.  And… and his heart wasn’t even beating when we put him in there.  What if-” His voice cracked, and he swallowed thickly.  He didn’t want to say it.  He didn’t want to  _ think _ it.  But keeping it bubbled inside him any longer would kill him even more than it already was.  “What if we’re just delaying the inevitable?”

There was a shocked silence.  “Lance, you mustn’t think like that,” Allura replied, soft yet stern.  “Keith will be okay.”

Lance glanced at her.  Her expression was completely earnest.  Something about her honesty was unsettling.  He focused back on the stars.  “How can you be so sure?” He asked, his voice coming out hoarse.

The princess paused.  “Because I have hope.”

_ That makes one of us. _

 

*****

 

Seven weeks.  Lance refused to go anywhere even remotely near the medbay.  Otherwise, he might’ve been there.

Lance woke up to Hunk violently shaking him.  It was the middle of the night, and the blue paladin sat up with a start.  “Wha-” He asked blearily.  A familiar ache returned to his chest as he grew more conscious.  “What happened?  Is the castle under attack?”

“No.” Hunk had an excited breathlessness to him.  “It’s Keith.  He’s - he’s awake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\_(ツ)_/


	7. The Kids Aren't Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprisingly Keith isnt dead and he's being even more angsty than usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so fucking sorry that this is so late. This is all @batfamilytrash's fault. She writes and I write sometimes. (its mostly her but shes the biggest flake there is so) and we have choir and finals and high school shit to deal with. im so sorry. i feel so bad omf. but we do do this with our free time and we are writing for you guys and i love seeing all of the support we have been getting and its beautiful thank you so much.

Keith was thoroughly confused when he woke up.  He didn't remember much, other than a botched mission that resulted in him and Lance making a mad dash for the woods, but that was it.  He didn't remember getting injured, and he definitely didn't remember it being as bad as it - apparently - was.  Clearly, it was worse than he thought.

Almost eight weeks.  He'd been stuck in a healing pod for nearly eight weeks.

Naturally, everyone had been ecstatic when he woke up. (Hunk literally started crying.)  But Lance?  Lance was a bit of a different story.  As soon as he entered the med bay, he wrapped Keith in a bone-crunching hug, burying his head in the red paladin’s shoulder.  The others not-so-subtly excused themselves from the room.  When Keith finally managed to pry himself from Lance’s arms, the other boy pulled him in for a kiss.  Keith hummed, pleasantly surprised.  It wasn’t until Lance pulled back from the kiss that Keith realized the blue paladin was crying.  He frowned in concern.

“Lance, wha-”

“You were dead,” He interrupted, freezing Keith in place.  “You weren’t just almost dead, you had  _ actually _ died.  Your heart stopped, Keith.  And you were in the pod for so long, I thought - I thought it had been too late, and -”

“Hey.”  Keith grabbed Lance’s hand.  “Do I look dead to you?”

Lance blinked.  “Kind of.  You’re really pale.  I mean, to be fair, you've always been kind of pale -”

Keith scowled.  “That’s not my point.”

“Then what  _ is _ your point?”

“That I'm not fucking dead, Lance.”

The blue paladin pulled him in for another hug.  “And you have no idea how happy I am about that,” He whispered.

 

*****

 

There was a scar.  It stretched from Keith’s solar plexus down to just above the left side of his hip, curved like a gruesome smile.  It didn't bug him, really.  He had plenty of scars, the majority of which weren't even from fighting an intergalactic war (he was a reckless kid, okay?).  He couldn't help but wonder what Lance thought of it.   _ He probably doesn't care.  Probably. _

Keith was starting to remember.  He remembered grabbing Lance’s hand and running as soon as he realized they'd been compromised.  He remembered ducking as shots fired just above their heads.  He remembered getting cornered by one Galra soldier.  He remembered Lance getting thrown against a tree.  He remembered the panic and anger he felt, the fierce protectiveness.  He remembered being too slow to dodge the Galra blade coming for him, and realizing it with a single  _ Well, shit. _  He remembered Lance’s voice.  After that, all he remembered was tumbling out of the healing pod and into Shiro's arms.  It was probably for the best, that he didn't remember, anyways.

“Keith?” Lance called.  It was a whisper, at best, but Keith could still hear the slight panic rising in his voice.

He lowered his shirt, shutting the lights off and leaving the bathroom.  “Right here,” He whispered back, sliding under the covers.

Lance threw his arm over Keith’s chest, nuzzling the crook of his neck.  The blue paladin had been… clingy?  Was that the word?  Keith had only ever heard that word being used in a negative context, and that wasn't how he felt about it.  But there were no other words to describe it.

So, yes, the blue paladin had been rather clingy since Keith had gotten out of the pod.  It was understandable, though.  Lance was handling it a lot better than Keith would've had their roles been reversed.  And, to be fair, it hadn't even been a full 24-hours since he'd woken up.

Eight weeks.  Keith was feeling it.  His body felt weaker.  He hated it.  But not as much as he hated the way Lance looked.  The bags under his eyes could carry a small dog, and he had gotten skinnier.  Noticeably skinnier.  It made Keith scared, to think that Lance - someone who was such a diva about ‘self care’ - could crumble like that.  And all because of Keith.

_ You shouldn't be that reliant on me, Lance.  It's scary, to think I have that much hold over your well-being. _

 

*****

 

When Keith woke up, the castle lights were still dark, and Lance was still sleeping.  He yawned.  What had woken him up?  Something must've had to.  He frowned, blinking some of the sleep out of his eyes.

_ Might as well try and go back to sleep. _

But he couldn't.  There was something nagging him, at the back of his mind.  Something on the tip of his tongue…

Just as he was starting to drift away, it slammed into him like a freight train.  He jolted straight up in his bed.

The pain.  The fear.  The need to say something, something that was slipping away from him, faster and faster, until it was gone.

“Keith?  Keith, hey.”  Lance.  He must've woken up when Keith had jerked up.  He gently put his hand on the red paladin’s shoulder.  “Baby, you okay?”

It wasn't until just then that Keith realized his breaths had become short and rapid, his body clammy with sweat, his stomach a tangled mess of nerves.  He pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut.  His face flushed at ‘baby.’  He'd never get used to those pet names. “Yeah, yeah, I'm fine,” He mumbled, his voice shaky and hoarse.

Even though he couldn't see him, Keith could tell Lance was frowning.  He heard it in his voice.  “Are you sure?”

Keith nodded.  “Yeah.  I just… just thought I remembered something from - it doesn't matter.  Let's just go back to sleep.”

Lance hesitated.  “I mean, if you're sure you're okay -”

Keith didn't wait for him to finish his sentence.  Instead, he turned around, pulling Lance down and resting his head on the blue paladin's chest.  Lance puffed out a small breath of surprise, but immediately wrapped his arms around him.  It wasn't long before sleep overtook the both of them again.

 

*****

 

It had five days since he’d woken up, and Keith was already back in the swing of training, much to everyone else's dismay.  The others had been hovering over him like concerned mothers until he basically shouted at them to go away, leaving him alone in the training room.

He ducked as the training bot swung at him, rolling under its arm.  He stumbled briefly, gritting his teeth.  His balance was worse.  Just another thing to work on.  Keith turned just in time for the training bot to lunge at him, sword extended.  He stumbled back, narrowly avoiding it.  His throat closed up.  A vivid memory danced through his head.  The Galra sword, just as it impaled him.

He stumbled back further, a nauseous forming in his stomach.  “E-end training sequence,” He managed to choke out.  The bot stopped, disappearing.

Keith shakily leaned against one of the walls, his bayard going back to default.  No, leaned wasn't the right word.  More like collapsed.  His breathing was ragged, his body shaking, even sweatier than before.  The memory swirled in his head.  He pressed his hands against the sides of head, squeezing his eyes shut.  He tried to slow his breathing.   _ go away go away go away go away go away go away go _

After a few minutes, he was able to breathe again.  The memory was gone as soon as it had come.  Keith pressed the heel of his hand against his forehead, his eyes still screwed shut.  When he opened them again, his vision swam.   _ What the hell was that? _

He took another deep breath, pushing off from the wall and heading towards his room.  His nerves were still a tangled mess of broken wires, frayed and open, sparking at every end.  His hands were shaking.  His hands never shook.  Lance wasn't in Keith's room when he got there.   _ Good.  He'd take one look at me and know something was wrong. _

Later, Keith pressed his forehead against the wall of the shower, water falling down his back.  He tried to pull his thoughts apart, figure out what that was.   _ Am I finally remembering what happened?  If so, I want a refund.  On life, in general.  _

He tilted his head up, letting the water hit him right in the face.  He stayed like that for a moment. Then, it came back to him.

_ “Keith, hey, look at me. _

_ It's okay, baby.  I've got you. _

_ You're - you're gonna be o-okay…” _

Keith jerked his head back abruptly, almost slipping.  He grabbed his hair with his hands, shutting his eyes again.  Panic rose up like the tide.

_ get out get out get out get out get out _

“Keith?” Lance called.

He froze.  The nausea began to subside.  Just like early, it was gone like that.  “Keith?” Lance called again.

Keith cleared his throat, trying to get his hands to stop shaking.  “Uh, in - in here,” He replied, hoping Lance didn't hear how shaky his voice sounded.

Considering how quickly he joined Keith in the shower, he didn't.

 

*****

 

He remembered it all.  The pain, the fear.  The pain of having a sharp piece of metal rip through him, of hearing Lance’s panicked words.  The fear of dying, of not doing everything he wanted to do before it was too late.

The thing was - Keith didn't remember it all until just now.

He shot straight up.  He felt everything and nothing all at once.  That nauseous feeling was back, but ten fold, as if he had missed a step on the stairs - but worse.  It was somewhere in between feeling like he was going to faint and feeling like he was going to die.  His throat was closing up.  It felt like he was drowning - the panic, not being able to breathe, the lightheadedness.  There was that feeling of when your foot falls asleep, but throughout his entire body.  His heart hammered in his ears.  His vision swam.

He couldn't breathe.

He could barely feel anything - hear anything, see anything - outside of the sheer panic and fear.  He was trapped in his own head.

Suddenly, he was aware of… something.  Someone talking, touching his arm.

“Keith?  Keith, hey talk to me, please -”

But Keith couldn't.  He tried, but as soon as he opened his mouth a breathless sob escaped instead.  He could tell they were still talking, but all he heard was noise.

_ what's happening god i don't know what's happening someone tell me what's wrong with me please _

Someone pulled him in, wrapping their arms around him.  Someone stroked his head.

_ anchor you need an anchor focus on them focus on them focus on them focus on _

There was sound, but different than the noise before.  It was… more melodic.  Softer.

_ focus focus focus fo _

Keith struggled to breathe.  He wanted to jump out of his skin - do anything just to get away from these feelings.  It seemed like it had been years.  Finally, there was a break in the clouds.  The storm passed, and he was in the eye.

He took a deep, greedy breath, trying to fill his lungs with as much air as possible.  The nauseous feeling was almost completely gone.  He still felt awful, but at least now he knew he wasn't about to die.

That was when he became aware of the singing.

_ “Tip me in your smooth waters.  I go in, as a man with many crimes.  Come up for air, as my sins flow down the Jordan…” _

Lance.  Of course.  Who else would it be?

Keith was suddenly hyper-aware of what was happening.  They were both sitting up - mostly.  Keith's head was buried against Lance’s chest, using him for support.  Lance was rubbing the red paladin’s back, making slow circles with his hand.  Keith's cheeks were wet from crying.  He hadn't realized he'd been crying.

_ “Take me to your river...I wanna go.  Go on, take me to your river.  I wanna know…” _

Huh.  Lance was actually a good singer.

Sensing that Keith had calmed down, Lance stopped singing, his hands now frozen in place.  Keith felt him shift, looking down at him.  “Keith -” He started, softly.

Keith pulled away, staring down at the sheets.  His cheeks were hot, and embarrassment flooded through him.  “I - I didn't - that was - sorry, I - I mean-” He tried to apologize for making Lance go through that, but it got lodged in his throat.

Lance put a hand on his arm.  “Babe, why are you apologizing?”

Keith snapped his head up.  Much to his surprise, Lance didn't look pitying or weirded out or anything Keith had imagined.  He just looked concerned.  “Are - are you okay?”

Keith blinked.  Was he?  He honestly had no idea.  “I -” He frowned.  “How'd you know?  That singing would work?”

The blue paladin shrugged.  “My sister used to get panic attacks all the time.  Singing always helped her.”

Keith's heart dropped.  “That's what that was,” He said.  “A panic attack.”  It was almost a question, but not quite.

“I mean - I'm assuming.”

There was a pause.  Keith ducked his head, shrinking back, holding his hands in his lap.  He couldn't bring himself to look back at Lance.  A panic attack.  He'd never had one before.  He didn't know they were as bad as it was.  Although, it  _ did _ had the word ‘attack’ in it.   _ For good reason, _ Keith thought bitterly.

After an agonizing silence, Lance finally asked, “Do you, maybe… wanna talk about it?”

Keith's breath hitched.  Did he?  He wasn't really good at that whole ‘sharing feelings’ thing.  But maybe it was time he start practicing.  Plus - it was  _ Lance _ .  If he couldn't talk to Lance, who  _ could  _ he talk to?

He took a shaky breath, and when he spoke, it was barely above a whisper.  “I remembered… what happened.  When… when I - you know.  Got hurt.”

Lance stiffened.  “All of it?” He asked breathlessly.

Keith nodded.  “All of it.”

“Oh, Keith…” Without so much as a second of hesitation, Lance wrapped him in his arms.  Keith buried his head against Lance’s neck as the blue paladin begin to rub his back. They both stayed in each other's arms for what felt like ages until Keith was ready to finally go to back to sleep. They both haven't gotten a decent amount of sleep in months considering the recent events that have happened. Keith was never the one who went to sleep on an actual sleep schedule anyways. But Lance, he hasn't been sleeping like he used to.  Lance is the person who lives and breathes the beauty sleep philosophy thing. Now, he is lucky if he will even sleep through a full 5 hours of sleep. But right now, with Keith lying next to him, Lance has never slept better knowing that his boyfriend is safe in his arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave all questions comments hate ect in the comments or in my ask galacticladynoir.tumblr.com/ask or mia's but i doubt she would answer but i (div) always answer bc im never busy i have just been having a hard time with english and im sick so ill be on tumblr a lot this week bc next week is thanksgiving and i currently have no plans whatsoever so hmu on my tumblr i love talking to you guys and im writing these notes at 4:20am (blaze it) on a wednesday. hahaha i love not being to sleep. i also downloaded all of hamilton from the internet and saved $20 yay
> 
>  
> 
> update!!!!!!  
> WE DECIDED THAT IT WAS GOOD TO END IT HERE. IM REALLY HAPPY WITH THE ENDING AND I HOPE YOU ARE TOO!!


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